My thoughts, Your thoughts

Then, I went outside where residents usually sit. There was only one woman accompanied by a nurse. The activities director said the woman is never by herself but doesn’t know why. I approached her and asked if we could talk. She said she was afraid of not having interesting things to tell me. I said it didn’t matter. Something in her pulled me to stay. She didn’t look directly at my face and answered short and dry. Her name is Portia Bender, 62 years old. She tells me she doesn’t live at HHC; she’s there because she doesn’t feel too good. “This is not my home. I own this place though,” she said.

From the moment she said those words, I knew I was dealing with somebody different from the others.

She doesn’t know what her problem is; only that she is not feeling well. And the only reason why she wants to be under special care is because of her son. She lives to see her son succeed in life. He doesn’t visit her much, and she would like to see him more often.

Portia Bender used to be a model in her early twenties. Her career lasted until she was about 35 years old. Most of her work was in New York, although she did some things in Miami. She misses the fun and glamorous life she had back then. Also, the friendships she made. “The only thing I didn’t like was changing clothes 30 times a day,” she said. She did both pictures and run-way, but liked pictures more.

Although she likes HHC, she would prefer to be somewhere else. “I wanted to be in the beach, cruising, swimming, golfing…anything fun,” she said.

I tried asking some of the staff why was she there. Contrary to Muñoz, Bender’s health is noticeably not normal. However, nobody told me what her problem was, alleging it was private information.

From what she said, I don’t know how much is true. I searched her name on the web, trying to see her model pictures but it turned out unsuccessful. She obviously does not own HHC. Rumors I heard is that she was involved with drugs. Nothing is official.

From that, I talked to a young volunteer. It was Anisley Garcia’s first day as a volunteer at HHC. She’s there because she needs ten hours of service for her degree. “But, I’ll continue after the ten hours. They feel lonely, I want to help them,” she says. She feels that the elderly need more assistance than children. That’s why she chose a nursing home. “I found HHC in the internet. I came today and I love it. It’s clean, the resident’s look happy and the staff is very nice. I’ll stick to this one,” she said.

Garcia moved to Miami from Cuba three years ago, leaving her entire family behind. Her husband just finished a master’s degree in engineering from FIU. She is enrolled in the Honors College of Miami-Dade. The couple doesn’t have children. “We want to study first,” she said.

Garcia thinks about the future. “I live for tomorrow, for my husband, for my future children, for the hope of bringing my parents here and always keep my family together,” she said.

Garcia sees her stay as volunteer as a way that will help her treat other people better. “Also, I’ll get old and I don’t want to be lonely. That’s why places like this are important. I’ll do my best to help these people. And I know they have a lot to teach me,” she said.

The residents do have lots to teach other generations. This time I spent more time talking to some interesting people. I left the place thinking of what I had seen and what I had heard. Ms. Baxter has an amputated leg and can’t take care of herself. Still, she loves herself and has a strong personality to say what she likes and doesn’t, what she’ll do and don’t. She’s happy and talkative, even not speaking the predominant language in the facility. This woman has all the reasons to feel lonely and sad. Nevertheless, she doesn’t! And so I ask, who am I to feel sad and lonely?

Then, there’s the 89-year-old who had a brain stroke. Just from seeing her and talking to her, one cannot tell she has or ever had any health problem. She has a boyfriend, wants to work and get married. Although she is in the end of her life, she wants to enjoy as best as she wants, doing what she likes and being around people she loves. And so I question why I sometimes feel tired and unwilling to continue?

These people have health problems or they don’t have families and friends to share their lives. Their houses, which is now the nursing home, looks and smells like hospital. The food is hospital-like. Some will live there to the end of their days.

Still, they all want to live.

Posted by Mari on Saturday, November 04, 2006 at 10:39 AM | Permalink